


Phoenix

by AngelynMoon



Series: Stronger [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Consent Issues, Gen, Hurt Alec, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21541549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: A phoenix needs to burn before it can be reborn.As always if there is a tag missing let me know so i can add it.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Valentine Morgenstern, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, onesided - Relationship
Series: Stronger [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529321
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	Phoenix

Alec flinches when Magnus says his name, he tries not to, wants to forget his time with Valentine.

It's hard sometimes, with the Clave coming around asking questions, Raphael and Luke are at least a bit more sensitive and careful with their questions and phrasing.

And, though Alec knows Magnus is curious, that the Warlocks want answers about Valentine and his movements too, but Magnus never asks Alec more questions after that first day, he goes to Johnathan for his answers instead.

Alec is glad that the boy is willing to answer the questions because Alec can't even if he wanted to.

All Alec remembers is Valentine, sometimes Johnathan, but rarely anything else, Valentine was careful, selfish and hoarding Alec's presence to himself.

Alec finds his stomach turning and heads to the bathroom to empty his stomach of the rather lovely breakfast that Magnus had conjured from who knew where.

It was something that Alec was getting used to, expelling whatever meal he'd had recently when he thought about his time with Valentine, Alec knew it wasn't good but he couldn't help it, he'd been trying, but it wasn't working.

Remembering his time with Valentine made him sick and he didn't know how to fix it, and he couldn't bring himself to burden Magnus with this too, it wad enough that Magnus was careful with his touches , gentle when he woke Alec from a nightmare and the way he no longer held Alec when they shared Magnus' bed because Valentine had held Alec while they slept and Alec had panicked when he'd woken those first few mornings with Magnus' arms thrown over his chest.

Alec misses Magnus, hates the way Valentine had ruined his relationship with Magnus, first tainting it by pretending to be the Warlock and lingering now with the memories that Alec couldn't forget.

Alec hated it, hated Valentine, hated the Angel, cursed him for granting Valentine's wish, for taking Alec's choice away.

Alec sighed and rinsed his mouth. It was all he could do at the moment, he needed to figure out how to move on, how to grow from what Valentine and the Angel did and Alec knew he could, knew he would, but for now he wrapped himself in Magnus' gold silk sheets and let himself be broken, just for a few days longer, he would rebuild himself then, rise from the ashes of who he he used to be and be born again.

But just now, Alec was still burning, smoldering.

He'd be ash soon enough, ready to rise again, to fly, to fight once more.

But a Phoenix must first burn before it's rebirth.

And what a beautiful blaze it was before it burned out and was reborn anew.

Alec swallowed and let his tears come, let his fires burn, let the angry, sad tears fall as he screamed and sobbed and burned.

And when the week was through, when his anger and tears were ash and dust in his heart Alec stood up from Magnus' sheets, left the Warlock's bedroom's safety and called Catarina.

And Alec rose up from the ashes of who he used to be and was reborn.

Perhaps this was what victory tasted like, like ash and fire , like blood and tears and vomit. But victory was victory, no matter it's taste and Alec would not be anything but victorious in this, he would not let Valentine win, not this time.

\--

A/n: so... I have no excuse for this at all, i have no clue how one recovers from what is essentially rape but well I would think that they would deserve a bit of time to regroup before they reach out for help, and that is what Alec is doing when he calls Catarina, she is a nurse and most likely has an idea how to help Alec, more so than Magnus.

And while Magnus would listen and try to help, i think that he would be too close to the situation to be completely impartial, Magnus would get angry and he'd try to hide it but Alec would see it and if he's talking about what happened i think that Alec wouldn't be in the right headspace to calm Magnus down and it would just be a disaster if Alec went to Magnus to work through his trauma and Alec realizes that on some level and goes to the person that Magnus trust the most.

Not to say that Magnus isn't there for Alec's recovery but Magnus has some things to work through too, watching Alec get forced into Valentine's arms, knowing that Alec had no choice, failing to find him, to save him, knowing that Alec nearly died at Valentine's hands because Alec remembered loving Magnus and wanted that to be the last thing Valentine heard, yeah Magnus has some things to work through too, and they do have some therapy sessions together and work through it.


End file.
